Top tips for visiting a person with dementia in a care home

Visiting someone living with dementia in a care home can be difficult at times. As a resident new to living in a care home, the environment, routines and team members can feel unfamiliar and daunting. However, visits can be emotional highlights for you and your loved ones and it is important to know how to make the most of these.
As their condition progresses, many people with moderate dementia will continue to recognise the person visiting them even if they appear to have little awareness of their surroundings. Even if the person’s condition has progressed so that they no longer appear to know even those closest to them, the visit will undoubtedly enhance their wellbeing.

Below are some top tips to help you get the most out of your visits:

• Find something you can do together, such as a jigsaw, word search or crossword puzzle.
• Ensure your loved one maintains links to their life before moving into the home by helping them to write a card and notes to old friends and family members.
• Take a walk in the garden, visit the greenhouse, sit on a bench, and enjoy the birds and wildlife. 
• Depending on the weather, ask the care team to provide you with a thermos of tea, a sandwich/cake blanket, and cushions to enjoy an impromptu picnic. 
• Turn on the radio to listen to a favourite programme or some music and sit quietly together.
• Take along a newspaper to read aloud and chat about current affairs and stories in the news.
• Pamper your loved one by offering to paint their nails or a hand massage with beautifully scented cream.
• Reminisce together by working on their life story, sharing memories can provide a focus for conversation.
• See what other activities are taking place during your visit so that you can join in with them too.  The care team would love you to get involved and it will give you the opportunity to make some new memories and get to know others in the home.

Sometimes your family member may be unable to recognise you when you visit which can be upsetting for both of you.  There could be a number of reasons why this happens and correcting the person can make matters worse.  It can be helpful to introduce yourself and remind the person of their connection to you e.g. ‘Hi Mum, its Sarah, your daughter and Paul, your son-in-law is with me too.’

At the end of the visit, if your loved one is anxious at the thought of your leaving ensure a member of the care team is available to support them and talk to them about your visit after you have gone. Depending on the circumstances, it isn’t always necessary to announce you are going as this can create anxiety. Simply saying ‘I’ll see you later’ can work well, especially if you are a frequent visitor.

Be kind to yourself and accept that not all visits will go the way you wish. Ensure that you have something nice planned to do to lift your spirits such as a long walk or coffee and chat with a friend.